Pre-departure Update #1: Nerves

If you look around my bedroom at the moment, you’ll find a conversational German workbook, 15 Minute German, Facts About Germany, and several German dictionaries. I am in full force language learning mode. So far, I’ve made good progress. I’ve learned I have a knack for languages. I loved learning Spanish, and I am enjoying German just as much. The only downside is I don’t have a kind teacher to reward me for learning German, but I guess I’ll have to self incentivize.

Despite the success I’ve had with learning German, I am growing more and more nervous as my departure date approaches. Being in communication with my host family and beginning to pack has made this all feel much more real. Packing might just be one of the most difficult parts of this journey. I am a bit of a clothes lover and shopaholic, and limiting down my wardrobe is difficult. How am I supposed to pick between my favorite sweaters? It’s like picking a favorite child.

As I’ve been packing, I’ve been thinking a lot more about the fact that I’m leaving. It’s hard to imagine not seeing my mom and dad every day. I’ve only ever gone a week without them. Being away from my family will be difficult, but I know I will be better for it.

I’ll miss my parents the most, but leaving my friends and community will be a whole other challenge. I have had the same best friend for four years, and I do everything with him. Outside of him, I have had a lot of the same friends since elementary school. I am good at socializing, but I haven’t had to exercise the skill in a foreign country while speaking a language I barely understand.

Even though I am afraid, I am also excited and grateful. I am so fortunate to have the opportunity to experience German culture first-hand. I am also thankful for the opportunity to travel at such a young age. If I never did anything that scared me, I would sit in my bedroom alone all day. FDR once said, “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.” The experiences I will have in Germany are so much more important than the fear I have. I am acknowledging that I am afraid, and I am choosing to focus on all I am excited about.

Until next time,

Bookish Babble