Dear Future Me (a reply)

Over a year ago, I wrote a letter to my future self. I listed goals and ambitions and encouragements for myself after my exchange year. And well, we’ve finally reached the “after” portion of my exchange year. It’s hard for me to imagine the version of myself that wrote that first letter. Somedays I feel like nothing changed, but most of the time, I feel like the world expanded before my eyes and I recognize all the ways I’ve grown up in such a short amount of time.

If you haven’t read the letter and want to see the original post, here is a link: https://lucysbookishbabble.wixsite.com/website/post/pre-departure-update-3-dear-future-me

I’m going to paste the letter portion of the post here for y’all:

Dear Future Me,

I do not doubt that CBYX will be the biggest blessing and challenge God has ever put in my path. I am sure that my journey will have mountains and valleys, triumphs and losses. Right now, I am so excited to depart on this journey, but every time I look at my suitcase, my stomach churns. I believe that this is the best kind of excitement, the kind that keeps you up at night but also scares you a little. Well, a lot, if I am honest.

Despite your nerves, I hope you make the most of this trip. I hope that you took in all the German you could. I hope you come back fluent. I hope you make friends, the kind that will be around for the rest of your life. I hope you stayed connected to your roots, but you were not afraid to branch out into German culture. Lastly, I hope that you had the most full, rich, and meaningful year possible. I hope that you truly lived it to the fullest.

I’ve thought a lot about what I want to do in Germany, and I’ve compiled a bit of a bucket list.

• Go to a German church sermon and fully understand it

• Play a sport

• Join a club

• Travel outside the country

• Flirt in German

• Try Schnitzel

• See a castle (and imagine being royalty)

• Read an entire novel in German (and understand it)

• Shopping with my host sister

• Visit the Christmas Markets

Even if I don’t accomplish any of these goals while I am abroad, I hope that I learn. So Future me, please take advantage of this opportunity, and learn, learn, learn!

Sincerely,

Past You

Not going to lie, this little letter is making me pretty emotional. Firstly, I remember so scared to step off that plane. I had no clue what would come next. I spoke no German, I had never travelled outside of the country, and to be fairly honest, I didn’t know a lot about Germany in general. I remember sitting in my new room that night and crying. It was terrifying and I was completely alone. I think one of the things I will always be most proud of is how I created a community and a family in Germany, and by the time I left, I was never alone. I built a life from the ground up, and that takes some grit.

In my letter, I reference “making the most” of my exchange a lot. And while I think I did “make the most” of my year, I also think my definition of the term changed a lot while I was abroad. Figuring out a foreign country and language alone is not easy, and honestly, it required a lot of quiet nights in my bedroom reading or FaceTiming friends. It wasn’t all going outside my comfort zone, there were times when it was best for me to recharge in my comfort zone. There were times when the best decision I made was to cancel plans and be alone. Before my exchange, I think I would’ve considered this a “failure”, but now I look back and know that is how I survived, and how I was able to make so many cool memories and milk out my exchange year.

Looking back on everything, I know deep in my heart that I had “the most full, rich, and meaningful year possible.” There is nothing I would change about my experiences in Germany. Not my location, not my host family, not my school, and not the people I met. It was all perfect. Partly because I was lucky, and somewhat because I made it work.

Lastly, I want to address my bucket list. In hindsight, I think my bucket list is a little silly. I think I made a list for the sake of making a list, and these weren’t things I actually focused on during my exchange year. I wouldn’t advise future exchange students to look at it for guidance. I would say you should really just focus on

1. Making connections to your host family

2. Becoming comfortable with speaking German

3. Making German friends

4. Traveling when you can

5. Learning about German culture and diving into it headfirst

But nevertheless, I will address my bucket list.

1. Go to a German sermon and fully understand it

I went to a Christian event in Stuttgart in March, and I understood mostly everything. Although I don’t credit myself with that accomplishment, I think most of my understanding came from God.

1. Play a sport

I tried swimming in Germany, but I was not a fan of the structure and timing, so I quit.

1. Join a Club

I participated in my gymnasium’s photography club and theatre club.

1. Travel outside the country

I was able to travel to Turkey for two weeks with my host family, as well as several “quick trips” across the border to France. I traveled to Paris, France twice. Once to visit my relatives and the next with my family. And lastly, I traveled to Amsterdam, the Netherlands with my friends in May.

1. Flirt in German

Haha, yes.

1. Try Schnitzel

My first meal in Germany was schnitzel (thank you Bianca).

1. See a castle

My first castle was in the woods of Landau, and it was beautiful. And I was lucky enough to visit many castles after that. My favorites are in Bruschal, Germany, and then the Palace of Versailles in Versailles, France.

1. Read an entire novel in German

I never got that far with my German skills. I am much more fluent in listening and speaking than in reading or writing.

1. Shopping with my host sister

My host sister and I went shopping my first weekend in Germany, and then many, many times after that.

1. Visit the Christmas Markets

Unfortunately, most of the Christmas Markets in Germany were closed this year due to Covid-19, but I was able to visit Christmas Markets in Landau and Frankfurt.

So, as you can see, I didn’t achieve everything on my bucket list, but I think I did my best. The Congress Bundestag Youth Exchange will probably always be one of the best things to ever happen to me, and I am eternally and immeasurably grateful for this opportunity.

Not many people get to see the world at such a young age, and I think my year abroad will continue to expand my horizons for the rest of my life. I hope that through my experiences abroad and my YouTube channel and blog, your horizons have also been expanded. Thank you guys for following me on this adventure.